Gimme GolfersHow It Started
Nobody remembers deciding to do this every day. It just sort of happened — a few of us kept showing up to Tolly at the same unreasonable hour, someone brought breakfast into the conversation, and within a few months a loose Tuesday habit had quietly become a 5am religion with a WhatsApp group and unofficial bylaws nobody voted on.
The name came later, over drinks, the way all the best decisions in this group do. Someone said "gimme" about a putt that was very much not a gimme, someone else pointed at the beer, and that was that. We considered "The Sunrise Society" for about four minutes. We are glad we didn't.
What We Actually Stand For
A gimme inside three feet is a gimme. Beyond that, you're just being hopeful, and hope is not a stroke-saving strategy.
Breakfast is mandatory. The golf, technically, is optional — nobody has tested this theory, but the bylaws are the bylaws.
Nobody talks shop before the 9th hole. After the 9th, all bets, opinions, and unsolicited business advice are fair game.
A ball lost in the water hazard officially never existed. This is not up for debate. We have discussed it extensively.
5am is not early. 5am is just when the day starts. Anyone who disagrees is welcome to join the 7am golfers, wherever they are.
If someone floats a last-minute trip on a Tuesday, the correct answer is yes. Ask questions on the flight over.
Roughly 80% of our best decisions get made in a moving golf cart.
Golf Jokes We Refuse to Retire
"Golf is a good walk spoiled." — attributed to a man who clearly never had breakfast after.
Why do golfers carry a spare sock? — In case they get a hole in one.
What do you call a group of nine grown men who wake up at 4:30am voluntarily? — Either deeply committed, or in need of an intervention. We've decided it's both.
The four most dangerous words in this group: "I've got a plan." Someone always has a plan. The plan is rarely the plan by the second hole.
The commute. Also occasionally the destination.